Everything was wonderful until I decided to head down to the lounge to hang out. It was still raining a little bit and the ground was wet. As I was coming down the stairs from my room, I slipped and fell. For a second, it didn't seem that bad, I only fell down a few stairs, and I fell backward onto my back so I didn't hit my head or anything. But then I felt this awful pain in my right shoulder. I stayed down for a few seconds but the ground was wet, so I wanted to get up, but when I did, I could barely lift my arm. I was very clearly in pain and as I looked across the courtyard I saw one of the staff there just laughing at me. Seriously?! A few seconds later, his boss asked him what happened and he told her I fell and I could hear her from across the courtyard say "oh my God!" and rushed over to help me up. After which the dude sort of realized how much of douche he was being and followed suit.
They helped me over into the lounge. A few other staff members came over and all of a sudden, everything thought they were doctors and were all telling me different things to do. In retrospect, I should have realized that I'm in India, no one knows what they're doing, and I should just go back to my room. But I was in a lot of pain and at they mercy of their instructions. Which were to continue to swing my arm around to relax my shoulder (which, again in retrospect, was probably the worst thing I could have done). Then one of the guys came and tried to stretch my arm out. They offered to take me to a hospital but I was like "uhh... I think I'll pass." At one point they were like "oh, it's not a big deal. It's probably because this is just the first time you've fallen. We've all fallen on those stairs many times." To which I'm thinking 1) obviously, this isn't the first time I've ever fallen, that's a ridiculous thing to say but it also has no bearing on how much my shoulder should hurt, and 2) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! If you've all fallen multiple times on those stairs, WHY DON'T YOU FIX THE PROBLEM???
I went back up to my room and a few minutes later, one of the staff members came with some terrible-smelling green liquid in a little bowl and said this was a local remedy for sore muscles, so he came in and rubbed it on my shoulder.
After an hour my shoulder was still killing me, and I figured I probably should get this checked out. Better safe than sorry, right? So I went back down to the lounge and said yes, I did indeed want to go to a hospital. They called around for a cab, but it's still Onam (because it's always a holiday of some sort in India) so there weren't any cabs available. Their solution: send me to the hospital on the back of a motorcycle driven by one of their staff. We didn't really have another option, so I went with it. The lucky staff member was JA, a skinny 17-year-old. With a motorcycle.
So we went outside. It was still raining. And night time at this point. I hopped on the back of his motorcycle. Didn't have a helmet. And couldn't really hold onto him all that well because... well, my shoulder felt like it was going to fall off. And as we were speeding toward the hospital along a dirt road going waaaaay faster than we should have even if it weren't raining / it weren't pitch black out with no streetlights / it weren't a dirt road / I didn't have a busted shoulder / we were wearing helmets, I thought to myself, "well, I guess I had a good run."
Miraculously, we made it to the hospital in one piece. Luckily, JA was there because I couldn't have navigated the hospital scene without him. He came in with me, talked to the right people, and a minute later, I was filling out the shortest intake form I've ever filled out. A few minutes later, they took me in and did the standard height, weight, and blood pressure measurements. A few minutes later, I sat down with the doctor, a woman probably in her 60s. She wasn't all that talkative and just asked me a few straightforward questions about what happened, etc. After she was satisfied, she didn't say anything to me, just sent me back out into the hallway. Every staff member there I interacted either gave no expression when looking at me, or gave a little chuckle at the helplessness of this Westerner in their hospital. After a couple minutes I went into a room with a huge X-ray machine. So... it turns out this was the next step. An X-ray technician laid me down on the table and took some X-rays of my shoulder. No protective gear for me of course, so hopefully I'll still be able to have children, but who knows. Luckily, the X-ray was positioned pretty closely to my shoulder, so I think the radiation was localized.
While we were waiting for the doctor to take a look at the results, I saw a woman in the most amazing wheelchair I've ever seen in my life. It's literally made out of a plastic lawn chair, a steel frame, and some bike tires! There was a sticker on the back for Free Wheelchair Mission, a nonprofit whose goal is to provide "wheelchairs for the impoverished disabled in developing countries." Amazing.
We waited for another 10 minutes, and then we went back to the doctor. I laughed as I walked in and told her that in the U.S. this would have taken days. She seemed to find that mildly amusing, and I think she also took some sense of pride in it too. Or some sense of judgement about the healthcare system in America. She told me the X-ray looked fine and that nothing was broken. I could have told her that! I figured I either tore or dislocated something, but that didn't seem to be on her mind. Her next question was "do you want a shot for the pain?" Are you kidding me? Poked by a needle of any kind in India? No thanks, doc. I have absolutely zero problems with getting shots. But it's definitely not happening in India. I don't care if I'm at a hospital. She laughed at me when I said no because I'm pretty sure in her head I was a wimpy American afraid of needles, and I was fine letting her continue to think that. She prescribed me some medicines, which she scratched out on a piece of paper, written in Malayalam, which I obviously couldn't read. She asked me one more time, "are you sure you don't want a shot?" to which I again replied "no." I think she just wanted to laugh at me one more time before sending me out of the room.
JA took care of giving the "prescription" to a woman at the counter, who gave me three medicines and explained to him how much of each I was supposed to take, which he relayed to me. He also took care of the bill, which was all inclusive a whopping ~$15. Start to finish, we were probably there about 30 minutes. I asked JA to get my X-rays. What better memento of my visit to a hospital in India than my own X-rays? Of course, this is where the blindingly quick experience got tangled up in the backward bureaucracy inherent in all things India. We waited probably another 20-30 minutes before someone gave them to us. Nevertheless, we got them! I tucked them away under my shirt and mentally prepared myself for the equally if not more treacherous motorcycle ride back to the hotel. Still raining. Still dark. Still no helmets or paved roads.
We got back, I went to the lounge to update the staff on the verdict. Literally every single time the rest of the evening when I went back up to my room at least one staff member would say, "please be careful, sir!" Which was fine at first, but quickly became pretty patronizing. There were also some not-so-subtle suggestions from FA that I must have fallen because I wasn't being careful. No, FA, I fell because your stairs are made out of material that has zero traction on it. Boeing should coat 747s in that stuff so that they can fly faster.
I didn't stay in my room for too long because the internet there was spotty, so I headed back down to the lounge to figure out exactly what drugs the doctor had given me. Luckily, the packaging for each one had either the brand name or chemical name on it, which was a good place to start. The doctor had given me a few things for pain and also... something for an upset stomach? Really? Maybe she just figured I'm a foreigner so obviously my stomach is going haywire. Well played, doctor. She also gave me something that on my first pass of researching initially had me thinking it was a mild form of LSD that was unregulated by the FDA and could potentially get me arrested if I tried to bring it back into the U.S. and I was like "whoa, okay, maybe I'll be skipping this one." On my second try at googling it, I came to the conclusion that it's not what I thought, just a mild pain killer. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
While I was in the lounge, I talked to FA about arranging for me to go see some elephants. She laid out a few pamphlets to look over and I selected the package I wanted. FA made some calls and it turns out that the trekking option I wanted to do wasn't available because it was only me going and the tour company didn't want to hassle with all of the costs associated for just one person. Which I get, but... come on! I came thousands of miles for this! FA was pushing some other options and we talked for a bit about what I really wanted to do, and then she went away for a while and came back with a new idea. She pulled together her own itinerary of things to do for the day that included elephants, as well as seeing some other parts of Thekkady, waterfalls, views, a tea plantation, and a trip into the neighboring state of Tamil Nadu. Seemed cool, a little on the pricier side, but it sounded like a great day so I went for it. This is really happening! I'm going to see elephants!
While I was down in the lounge, I ordered dinner. It turns out JA is not only the resident motorcyclist, he's also the resident chef. So he asked me what I wanted, and disappeared into the kitchen. Food came out pretty quickly and it was amazing (if not super spicy). I ate outside in the courtyard. Which, my earlier accident aside, is beautiful. After dinner, I asked for dessert. They asked me what I wanted, so I said ice cream. They said yes and went away. I waited for a while, maybe 10-15 minutes. At this point, I kind of didn't care anymore, I just wanted to go back up to my room. I was wondering why it was taking so long and then I heard the motorcycle pull up to the hotel and I realized what had happened. It turned out they ran out of ice cream, so they sent one of the guys into town to get me some! They're definitely going above and beyond to make sure I have a good stay. I imagine the fall I took is all the more reason for them to bend over backward to make sure I give them a good review.
I called it a night after that and went to bed. I really hope this shoulder thing doesn't ruin the rest of my trip.
CONTINUE ON to Thekkady Part 3: Remba the ELEPHANT
They helped me over into the lounge. A few other staff members came over and all of a sudden, everything thought they were doctors and were all telling me different things to do. In retrospect, I should have realized that I'm in India, no one knows what they're doing, and I should just go back to my room. But I was in a lot of pain and at they mercy of their instructions. Which were to continue to swing my arm around to relax my shoulder (which, again in retrospect, was probably the worst thing I could have done). Then one of the guys came and tried to stretch my arm out. They offered to take me to a hospital but I was like "uhh... I think I'll pass." At one point they were like "oh, it's not a big deal. It's probably because this is just the first time you've fallen. We've all fallen on those stairs many times." To which I'm thinking 1) obviously, this isn't the first time I've ever fallen, that's a ridiculous thing to say but it also has no bearing on how much my shoulder should hurt, and 2) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! If you've all fallen multiple times on those stairs, WHY DON'T YOU FIX THE PROBLEM???
I went back up to my room and a few minutes later, one of the staff members came with some terrible-smelling green liquid in a little bowl and said this was a local remedy for sore muscles, so he came in and rubbed it on my shoulder.
 |
| This hallway is the entirety of the hospital, as far as I could tell |
So we went outside. It was still raining. And night time at this point. I hopped on the back of his motorcycle. Didn't have a helmet. And couldn't really hold onto him all that well because... well, my shoulder felt like it was going to fall off. And as we were speeding toward the hospital along a dirt road going waaaaay faster than we should have even if it weren't raining / it weren't pitch black out with no streetlights / it weren't a dirt road / I didn't have a busted shoulder / we were wearing helmets, I thought to myself, "well, I guess I had a good run."
 |
| My state-of-the-art (in 1970) X-ray machine |
 |
| You could definitely go off-roading in this puppy |
We waited for another 10 minutes, and then we went back to the doctor. I laughed as I walked in and told her that in the U.S. this would have taken days. She seemed to find that mildly amusing, and I think she also took some sense of pride in it too. Or some sense of judgement about the healthcare system in America. She told me the X-ray looked fine and that nothing was broken. I could have told her that! I figured I either tore or dislocated something, but that didn't seem to be on her mind. Her next question was "do you want a shot for the pain?" Are you kidding me? Poked by a needle of any kind in India? No thanks, doc. I have absolutely zero problems with getting shots. But it's definitely not happening in India. I don't care if I'm at a hospital. She laughed at me when I said no because I'm pretty sure in her head I was a wimpy American afraid of needles, and I was fine letting her continue to think that. She prescribed me some medicines, which she scratched out on a piece of paper, written in Malayalam, which I obviously couldn't read. She asked me one more time, "are you sure you don't want a shot?" to which I again replied "no." I think she just wanted to laugh at me one more time before sending me out of the room.
JA took care of giving the "prescription" to a woman at the counter, who gave me three medicines and explained to him how much of each I was supposed to take, which he relayed to me. He also took care of the bill, which was all inclusive a whopping ~$15. Start to finish, we were probably there about 30 minutes. I asked JA to get my X-rays. What better memento of my visit to a hospital in India than my own X-rays? Of course, this is where the blindingly quick experience got tangled up in the backward bureaucracy inherent in all things India. We waited probably another 20-30 minutes before someone gave them to us. Nevertheless, we got them! I tucked them away under my shirt and mentally prepared myself for the equally if not more treacherous motorcycle ride back to the hotel. Still raining. Still dark. Still no helmets or paved roads.
We got back, I went to the lounge to update the staff on the verdict. Literally every single time the rest of the evening when I went back up to my room at least one staff member would say, "please be careful, sir!" Which was fine at first, but quickly became pretty patronizing. There were also some not-so-subtle suggestions from FA that I must have fallen because I wasn't being careful. No, FA, I fell because your stairs are made out of material that has zero traction on it. Boeing should coat 747s in that stuff so that they can fly faster.
I didn't stay in my room for too long because the internet there was spotty, so I headed back down to the lounge to figure out exactly what drugs the doctor had given me. Luckily, the packaging for each one had either the brand name or chemical name on it, which was a good place to start. The doctor had given me a few things for pain and also... something for an upset stomach? Really? Maybe she just figured I'm a foreigner so obviously my stomach is going haywire. Well played, doctor. She also gave me something that on my first pass of researching initially had me thinking it was a mild form of LSD that was unregulated by the FDA and could potentially get me arrested if I tried to bring it back into the U.S. and I was like "whoa, okay, maybe I'll be skipping this one." On my second try at googling it, I came to the conclusion that it's not what I thought, just a mild pain killer. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
While I was in the lounge, I talked to FA about arranging for me to go see some elephants. She laid out a few pamphlets to look over and I selected the package I wanted. FA made some calls and it turns out that the trekking option I wanted to do wasn't available because it was only me going and the tour company didn't want to hassle with all of the costs associated for just one person. Which I get, but... come on! I came thousands of miles for this! FA was pushing some other options and we talked for a bit about what I really wanted to do, and then she went away for a while and came back with a new idea. She pulled together her own itinerary of things to do for the day that included elephants, as well as seeing some other parts of Thekkady, waterfalls, views, a tea plantation, and a trip into the neighboring state of Tamil Nadu. Seemed cool, a little on the pricier side, but it sounded like a great day so I went for it. This is really happening! I'm going to see elephants!
CONTINUE ON to Thekkady Part 3: Remba the ELEPHANT
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